So, I wasn’t planning on writing this, but my scheduled post had broken down, so I decided now would be a good time to post this. I know I am going to get so many questions asked by my mom and dad, but I just think that I have to say some things to be honest to my readers. I just needed to share this because hopefully it will help many people understand the flaws of society, and not of themselves.
I have always been insecure about my body. Ever since I remember, I have always looked at my body with hatred because I couldn’t accept that everyone has flaws. I know everyone thinks about themselves this way but I also know, this is a horrible feeling. Why do we feel so insecure about our bodies? Is it because society has an ideal body image? I always see these beautiful models on all my social media, and I am not going to lie, I always feel this frustration about why I am not as “fit” as them. I grew up in a house where my parents would always talk about which diet they were going to try, and how they wanted to lose weight. I am just now starting to realizing, that may be one of the reasons why I was so aware of the ideal body at such a young age. I remember how at one period of my life, I ate more than my older brothers, because I had such a large appetite. When I realized that this was an issue, I went on a diet for about two years. I was in fourth grade.
When I got into sixth grade, I finally felt good about my body. That is until I moved to Japan. I saw how skinny everyone else was, and felt as if I didn’t fit in. I know that it’s not healthy to think that way, but I couldn’t help myself. I was comparing myself to others. When I lived in Italy, I had never heard what a thigh gap was. However, when I came to Japan, it seemed as if everyone wanted one because that is what determined if you were skinny or not. Which, for the record, is not true at all. It has to do with which body type you have, and your bone structure. I, of course, believed everyone and kept a thigh gap in mind each time I took a picture, and pushed my legs apart to create the illusion of having thinner legs. Can you believe that a 6th grade did that? That is horrifying! All because of society’s ideal body image.
I am not the only one who feels this way. According to DoSomething.Org, “Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media.” This is the real horrifying news. Can you believe what our society has done to some of these people’s minds? To MY mind? People always say, “It’s the inside that counts,” but if we see all these things on the internet about being a specific size, then of course, we may not believe that the inside is the only thing that counts.
Let me tell you something, all our bodies are different. I have a different body shape than Ebba, and Jiwoo, so I shouldn’t compare myself to them because we were built differently. So, what am I really trying to say in this post? Well, I hope all you people who are insecure, go on a path with me to find confidence in your own skin. I am still trying to find that but that doesn’t mean I don’t love anything about myself right now. I love my cheerfulness every morning. I love my ability to smile, when I feel the worst. I love my positiveness. I love the people I chose to surround myself by. I love my ability to tell my true friends, from fake ones. I love the way, I don’t care if I embarrass myself in front of hundreds of people. I love my curves and lips. But most of all, I love me enough to know that I want to make a change.